14 Years Old Should Be Allowed To Have A Boy/girlfriend

Hi imright20...I left you 2 messages in our "shoutbox". I didn't get your message to me. You screamed about my not getting sarcasm. The thing is, when I commented to you, I was agreeing with you. I was being sarcastic too. Just wanted to clear that up.

As far as this debate goes, I have two daughters. The oldest is 15 and the youngest is 12. My youngest has come home and told me that she has a "boyfriend". This is a very loose interpretation of the word boyfriend. She waves to him at school and sits with him in some of her classes. I don't mind something innocent like that. Now, when the 15 year old can drive or has friends that can drive, thus allowing for real dates and a real relationship, I do not know how I will feel about that and she will be, of course 16. At 14, a true relationship isn't something that, as a parent I would allow. I don't think there is anything wrong with spending time with members of the opposite sex. Dating is fine as long as there are rules and those rules are kept. I was a kids once, so I do know all about the things that go on in the minds of kids. It cracks me up that kids think their parents are idiots. We make rules because of our kids safety, health and to ensure a good future for our children. If we didn't remember what we did/though about/wanted when we were kids, I'm guessing we would be a heck of a lot more permissive. Sadly, we do have memories. Too bad we can't have them erased for the sake of our kids' fun...just kidding.

I do see the value in your second sentence. I'm thinking you are saying, if your parents said no, you would still do what you wanted. Right? This is why I do have an open mind as much as possible with my girls. While I said I would be uncomfortable, I did not say I won't allow it. I talk to them often. They can tell me anything without fear of retribution. Ok, to be fair, maybe there are some things I would have to discipline them for, but they would know that going in. As far as discussions regarding sex, smoking, drinking, experimentation with substances, I encourage them to come to me. Thank God they listen. I am very proud of them. My 15 year old, who is very open, is a very good girl and is above the influence of many of her peers. I believe some of this is due to the fact that I do not make uncomfortable topics taboo. I would be upset if they made a bad choice. I, however, would want to know about it and have the chance to use it as a learning experience to help them to not repeat the mistake. I think kids should be kids for as long as possible. Believe me, being an adult isn't as great as it looks when you are young. The freedom to date, drink, smoke...stuff like that, comes with responsibilities that you don't always want. I'm not posting this directly to you. Just got on a roll with your second sentence and posting it to anyone that it applies to. If your parents make a rule, chances are, they have your very best interest at heart. More often than not, parents are not being self absorbed. They love you and want what is best for you.

my2cents2u

20 Nov 2008 15:58

Comment

As far as this debate goes, I have two daughters.  The oldest is 15 and the youngest is 12.  My youngest has come home and told me that she has a "boyfriend".  This is a very loose interpretation of the word boyfriend.  She waves to him at school and sits with him in some of her classes.  I don't mind something innocent like that.  Now, when the 15 year old can drive or has friends that can drive, thus allowing for real dates and a real relationship, I do not know how I will feel about that and she will be, of course 16.  At 14, a true relationship isn't something that, as a parent I would allow.  I don't think there is anything wrong with spending time with members of the opposite sex.  Dating is fine as long as there are rules and those rules are kept.  I was a kids once, so I do know all about the things that go on in the minds of kids.  It cracks me up that kids think their parents are idiots.  We make rules because of our kids safety, health and to ensure a good future for our children.  If we didn't remember what we did/though about/wanted when we were kids, I'm guessing we would be a heck of a lot more permissive.  Sadly, we do have memories.  Too bad we can't have them erased for the sake of our kids' fun...just kidding.

I do see the value in your second sentence.  I'm thinking you are saying, if your parents said no, you would still do what you wanted.  Right?  This is why I do have an open mind as much as possible with my girls.    While I said I would be uncomfortable, I did not say I won't allow it.  I talk to them often.  They can tell me anything without fear of retribution.  Ok, to be fair, maybe there are some things I would have to discipline them for, but they would know that going in.  As far as discussions regarding sex, smoking, drinking, experimentation with substances, I encourage them to come to me.  Thank God they listen.  I am very proud of them.  My 15 year old, who is very open, is a very good girl and is above the influence of many of her peers.  I believe some of this is due to the fact that I do not make uncomfortable topics taboo.  I would be upset if they made a bad choice.  I, however, would want to know about it and have the chance to use it as a learning experience to help them to not repeat the mistake.  I think kids should be kids for as long as possible.  Believe me, being an adult isn't as great as it looks when you are young.  The freedom to date, drink, smoke...stuff like that, comes with responsibilities that you don't always want.  I'm not posting this directly to you.  Just got on a roll with your second sentence and posting it to anyone that it applies to.  If your parents make a rule, chances are, they have your very best interest at heart.  More often than not, parents are not being self absorbed.  They love you and want what is best for you.

Comment