Parents Should Accept Their Gay Child.

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Mine didn't and I think that was wrong of them. But I'm not alone, you hear of kids being made homeless or disowning them. You hear of parents who stand by their kids when they commit criminal acts but not if their gay. It doesn't change who we are as people or make someone a bad person. A parent is supposed to love a child no matter, you hear of parents who have no problem with it, so why should others. So do you think parents have a duty to look after their kids

kddan

22 Nov 2008 12:36

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I asked my mother a question
if i came out how would you fell
she said she would still love me but it would take a while to get use to it. But she would accept it because the day she brought me into this world was her happiest memory the day she loses me. Well the tears said it all.

No im not gay.

toni

17 Dec 2009 23:29

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Many parents who are Christian think that Satan bring upon their children for being gay. Children should be accepted no matter what.

imright20

24 Nov 2008 21:39

1 Comment

Love the child yes, but not the sin. As the bible says train up a child the way that they should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.

offcgibby

17 Jul 2009 23:07

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They should. Its their child.

celva_olva

23 Nov 2008 03:04

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I don't have a problem with Gays. If I had a gay friend, I would support them and do everything I could to help them. I'm a child so I don't know what it's like to be a parent but I think it would be the same. They should help their children because it's their responsibility.

iluurveyou

22 Nov 2008 20:28

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Of course they should. However acceptance doesn’t include being forced to watch Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. That’s just bad T.V. We all have our limits and that’s mine.

finsch

22 Nov 2008 17:32

4 Comments

I think that show is hilarious, but I don't really watch much on TV. There isn't much on there to stimulate the mind. When I do tune in, something like that makes me laugh. I think they act over the top on purpose for ratings.

I do agree with you about parents accepting their children's lifestyle choices.

my2cents2u

22 Nov 2008 18:09

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Yes, I believe parents should accept their children for who they are. Those who don't are a poor example of what it means to be a parent. My children have my unconditional love. There isn't anything either of them can do to make me take my love from them. We, as parents, do not have to agree or like all of the choices our children make, but we do need to love them and care for them. If the child is under the age of 18, it is our responsibility to provide for them until they can provide for themselves. Personally, I will provide for mine until they finish college and are truly independent. I feel that they do not need to be worried about financial matters while their studies should be the first thing on their mind. This applies no matter what sexual orientation they are. They happen to be straight, but if they were homosexual, I would love and support them in the same manner.

my2cents2u

22 Nov 2008 16:24

6 Comments

Your a very good example of how a parent should behave and treat their kids. I don't think I'll ever have kids but I'd like to think I'd bring them up in a similar way you did with the same tolerant mindset.

kddan

22 Nov 2008 16:31

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Thank you.  When I chose to have children, I made the choice knowing that they could/would do things that I would prefer they not do.  I also knew that I wanted them and not for the sake of simply "keeping up" with what others of my age group were doing.  I live in a development where I saw many new parents having kids, but seemingly not really wanting to be a part of those children's lives.  I think too many parents have children because they reach a point in their lives where they feel it is something expected of them.  My sister knew she never wanted kids and she does not have any.  I have friends of the same mindset.  If more people were true to themselves, we would see more parents who truly put their children first and who were not selfishly denying their children because they did not grow into what the parent felt they should be.  I think parents who have an issue accepting a homosexual child are homophobic and are allowing themselves to be selfish and not putting the best interest of their child before their own feelings.  There are serial killers who have parents who are willing to stand by them and show their love for them.  I don't think any parent can say they would be proud of a child who grows up to become a killer, but when one has a child, they are a part of you.  You cannot stop loving them.  You may not agree with choices they make, but love that is unconditional is not able to be "turned off".  I'm sorry that your parents are not, at least at this time, able to accept you for you.  Keep in mind that they may have a change of heart.  Sometimes, when one loves someone very much and wants the best for them, concern may be expressed as anger.  The thing is, society still has a very long way to go in the acceptance of the homosexual lifestyle as in other lifestyles such as interracial couples, for instance.  Perhaps your parents are worried and want the best for you and the concern they feel is coming across the wrong way.  I do not know anything about your situation aside from what is written in your debate title, so I may be way off here.  I would be concerned for my children if they chose an alternative lifestyle, but I would not choose to show that concern in an angry or punitive way.  We have so many young people attempting suicide or actually succeeding at it, that I think, as a parent I owe it to my children to listen and try to see their point, even if it is against my viewpoint.  If their actual safety is at stake, I come down hard.....grounding, loss of cell phones, computers, etc.  I choose my battles.  I see parents spend so much time arguing over little things that, when it comes to something that the kids really need to hear, the child is not going to tune in and hear a thing out of the parents mouth.  Oh my, I am really rambling.  Parenting is something I take very seriously.  I do not like to think of any child without a parent to go to for support and love no matter what the circumstances.

Thank you for your kind words.  You never know.  You may be a parent someday.  If you do make the choice to become a parent, you will have the chance to learn from what you have experienced.

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My heart goes out to you.  It really does.  No parent should ever treat their child like that.  Still, I am going to advise you not to hate your parents.  Here is the reason.  When you hate someone, it takes your energy.  They are angry with you over something that you do not deserve their extreme hostility for.  Let them carry around the negative emotions.  You don't need the burden of hatred and anger in your life.  If you choose not to feel love for them, I certainly wouldn't blame you there, then at least feel nothing for them.  I don't think you should leave your heart exposed for them to break over and over, but I do think you should simply live your life happily and enjoy your relationship, knowing many people don't have a happy relationship with someone who loves them.  It makes me upset that they keep you from your brother, but he will have a chance to be in your life as he grows older.  Also, believe me, people disown their kids over all kinds of things.  I know a girl who met a wonderful man who treated her like a princess.   She is white and he is black.  They got married and her family has not been a part of their life, but you know what?  It is their loss.  They will miss out on their daughter, a wonderful, educated, intelligent and kind son in law, grandchildren and any other wonderful events that grace their daughter's life from this point on.  It is the same for your parents.  I never like to hear of a family being unable to mend ways, however you did nothing to merit this anger.  I mentioned before that I would feel disappointed if it were my child.  Not because I am homophobic.  I am not.  It is because of people like your parents in this world who still cannot accept the choices of others and realize that it really shouldn't impact them or their feelings toward the other person, especially when the other person is their own child.  You just hang in there and don't get bitter.  Remember that there are people who love you.  I'm sure you have good friends.  You have a partner who you obviously have a committed relationship with and that's great.  The fact that he's older, has a job and an apartment is good as well as it allows you the independence from your parents that you need right now.  Make sure to get a good education and do what you want with your life.  Seeing that you have made something of yourself is going to drive your parents nuts.  If you want any kind of "payback" for the way they have treated you, that is the kind you want.  Just live your life.  One day, they may realize what a mistake they have made and it will be up to you whether you want to let them in.  I suggest that you do.  I held a grudge only once and it taught me a lot.  When it was all said and done, I let go of the anger, resentment and pain and realized that a huge weight had been lifted off of me.  Even now, there is a lot that goes on with my ex.  He barely acknowledges that he has children.  He adopted his step son, but cannot do anything for his daughters.  I could hate him, but choose not to.  I will protect my girls from him and his wife, but I will never give him the satisfaction of making me angry (or at least letting him know I am angry...I am human so I do get angry at times...I just let it go).  I will send you a message in your "shoutbox" so watch for it.  If you ever need to talk, I'm more than happy to listen.   Sometimes we all need a parent or parent-like figure to talk to.  Oh...when you are out and see your parents, hold your head high and do not let them drag you down.  You deserve all the happiness in the world.  No one ever deserves to be attacked, especially by one's own parent.  Regardless of the reason, whether it is a child or parent, who makes whom angry, no one needs to attack anyone and it is never alright.  I hope you were ok.  Well, I'm writing a novel here, but you have a good night and I hope all is well for you.

Comment

I do believe in providing a good role model for children and in being discerning about what types of friends they have, but, I honestly don't think that any of that will dissuade a well raised child from being homosexual.  It might make them hide it or possibly feel very depressed.  I teach my children the right things and I expect certain behavior from them, but if one of them was gay, I would still love and accept them.  I don't think it is any parent's dream because we love our kids and don't want them to live a lifestyle that will cause them pain due to the abuse of others.  The people out there who gay bash and talk hatefully about gay people are not going to stop any time soon.  I don't want that for my girls, but I would be there to comfort and love them regardless.  I couldn't stop loving them under any circumstances.

I have read the Book of Judges...it's been a while ago, but I read it.  I believe that the New Testament is more applicable than the Old to Christians today.  We are supposed to love God and to love one another.  That is, to me, the way to Heaven and is what I believe God wants us to do.

Some very good parents raise their children in the way you describe and they go out and commit crimes, get hooked on drugs and just about anything that you can think of.  Nurture is only part of the equation.  The other part is nature and some kids are naturally more defiant or wish to test their parents in more ways....this is not applicable to those who are gay because I do not believe they choose to be gay.

We as parents should always love our children unconditionally

momma_bear

22 Nov 2008 15:40

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Yes, parents should love their children no matter what. They can make it clear they disagree with their behavior but that they still love them. .

kkcoyne

22 Nov 2008 15:08

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Parents won't condone everything a child does, but they should accept them to the brink of chaos.

Specter87

22 Nov 2008 14:33

1 Comment

Very well said. I like the "brink of chaos" part. My kids make my home to the brink of chaos everyday...just kidding, but very good answer.

my2cents2u

22 Nov 2008 18:11

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No because it is sin. The christian parent should kick that child's behind.. If they don't they will encouraging corruption. They should love the child but not the sin. No one should accept this corrupt lifestyle! If the home accepts this,down goes the family and the traditional family value's. America was made great by the family. Not through corruption. God created male and female nothing else. Everything else is man's doing.

offcgibby

17 Jul 2009 23:06

2 Comments

Well I hope you don't ever become a parent because if you ever became one you wouldn't be very good at it. What a disgusting attitiude. I've seen some of your post before, no wonder you are a social inept, pathetic honestly.

kddan

18 Jul 2009 07:34

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