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To "lust" is to have a strong physical desire to have sex with somebody, usually without associated
feelings of love or affection. Furthermore, the act of lusting is a directed focus of energy.
While one cannot reasonably have sex with pictures, it should be obvious that the objects here are
the women in the pictures. That being said, the intended point is that wanting to have sex with
women, outside the relationship, as represented by the women in the pictures, constitutes the
equivalent of cheating. While I don't claim to have carte blanche on everything sex-related, I have
yet to hear a person express the desire to have sex with another's specific body part, exclusively.
So then, a question to address is whether or not it is ok to want to have sex with other women,
wherein the only thing preventing it from happening is, perhaps, access, proximity, mutual consent,
etc.? |
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Maybe he is not lusting for the pictures. But the women themselves? In which he hopes to get to
those women that exist in the pictures. This lust is his thirst that must be quenched by these
women, and he has no thirst or regard for his own wife. |
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Anything that distracts you from your partner is cheating. Whether it's chatting someone up at work,
online, or simply drooling over pics of someone else. |
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If the guy is on his computer for hours looking at pornography compared to glancing at a suggestive
billboard advertisement, then I say yes, he is cheating. He is thinking of another woman and wants
to be with her, even though it's just a fantasy. Maybe I'm wrong, but from a female's point of
view, it's a big no-no. However, it does go both ways. |
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Better pictures than the real girl. |
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Both my wife & i enjoy porn she likes to look at other mens bodies that are almost as gorgeous as
mine. We have even made our own porn of just the two of us for our own private viewing . |
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If my ex only "cheated" by looking at pictures then I probably would still be married. |
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All human beings look at anything that is attractive to them. That would include a man or woman
looking at explicit pictures if or when they are available. Women are less visually stimulated,
which I guess is why the debate targets men, but women look too. A woman might not look at the same
type of pictures, but we all look. I do have a friend who uses religion to back up her very jealous
issues about her husband looking at even a fully clothed woman if she thinks that woman is
attractive. She says that it is lust and uses the Bible to back her arguments. If a man or woman
is consistantly viewing pornographic material and isn't paying attention to their partner, there is
probably a problem in the relationship, but I don't think that looking is the same as cheating. No
one brings home a STD from looking at explicit content. That said, unless one is blind or dead,
they are going to look and making a big deal out of it only makes the person doing the complaining
look insecure and petty. Unless it is getting in the way of a normal and healthy sex life between
partners, there is no problem with looking. Also, looking is not equal to lusting after someone
else. To look at someone who is beautiful does not mean that the person looking wishes to
physically be with someone who looks like the image in the picture/video. I think that is where the
confusion seems to come in. If someone is looking at someone and wanting to leave their marriage
for the person they are looking at, that is an issue. To simply look and even to be turned on is
not lust. It is a natural physical response.
I think that, if one is in a relationship and this is something that they allow to become an issue,
it is more their problem than a problem with the viewer. As others have stated, there are limits
and there are also some couples who define cheating within their own individual relationship. In
that case, whatever the couple has decided constitutes cheating is valid in their relationship. |
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My answer is sort of like an echo to what finsch said, but there is a huge difference between porn
being your secondary or your primary "release." When my fiance isn't in the mood or if she's out of
town, I'll look at porn, but only because it is a secondary option to my fiance. If I actively
sought out porn before I sought out my fiance, then I'd probably have some issues.
That and I see nothing wrong with spicing things up a bit. I've learned a great amount of techniques
from porn that my fiance has been thankful for in the bedroom. I'm sure that's more information that
anyone would like to know, but it is the truth. I think a boring sex life is one of the main killers
of a relationship for young and active couples. |
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First off it is a mistake to characterize anything like this a strictly a male issue. What
constitutes cheating should be personally defined between the principles in a relationship. My
belief is that it does not constitute cheating and in fact can be a useful tool in reducing urges to
stray. Most therapists agree that a healthy fantasy life can be contributory to a satisfying sex
life with your partner.
That being said it is a different matter if one partner would rather peruse porn than engage in
sexual activity with their partner. I’m not sure it constitutes cheating but it certainly
constitutes a serious problem.
Just curious, is there a difference to you between using porn and your own imagination? |
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I'd have to say that the equality of looking at photos and cheating with another individual varies
as much as a Porsche and a ford. I just think it's bad, not necessarily a cheat. :) |
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My belief on the matter is, that looking is okay but when you cross the invisible line and touch is
when it becomes cheating (well apart from if it includes a web cam but we won't go intot that).
Cheating is a physical action and therefore simply looking doesn't full into that category.
And as Grenache said couples do use images at times to enhance their sex life. |
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Its not. They are only looking. They are not phyically going out and doing things with other people. |
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My theory is, They can look but they can't touch. And woman are just as bad as men when it comes to
this stuff. (not saying all the time) |
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You set a standard through which every male in every relationship would be a cheater because they
see suggestive photos in everything from mainstream magazines to billboards to TV and movies. Do
you want a Taliban-style existance where ancient nude statues are hidden or demolished and women
wear burkas head to toe?
Furthermore there are couples who look at sexy pictures together as mutual marital aids.
And frankly women do look at men too. |
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12 Jun 2009 15:29
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