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It Is Okay To Remain Friends With Your Son's Ex Girlfriend.
The end of a romantic relationship doesn't have to distroy all the friendships that were made by the couple during that time. So it should be okay to meet the ex girlfriend for a day of shopping now and then.
 Golfelda  28 Oct 2009 19:23
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I think it's fine. You just have to be careful depending on the situation. If that girl doesn't want to be friends with you anymore, then just leave her alone.
 
 joylove101  09 Nov 2009 09:44
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If the son in question is mentally mature, and doesn't absolutely hate/grieve over his ex, then there's nothing wrong with it, in my opinion.
 
 RoboHippo  30 Oct 2009 03:48
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 He is mature. I have been nice to all of his girl friends. I understand that things don't always work out in relationships, especially in the teens and early twenties, so unless they were horrible or something to him I see no reason to be anything but nice to them. He is still on good terms with all of them for the most part.
This particualr one he dated for over two years and has no real family to speak of. We pretty much became her family and so when he broke up with her, she not only was losing her first love, she was also no longer going to be here where she had parent figures to look up to and our other son who treated her like the sister he never had.
She is a special person, even if she isn't with my son. I am okay with them breaking up. I just don't see why I should turn my back on her, too.
by  Golfelda
 30 Oct 2009 15:41
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It really depends on why they broke up. If they are still friends, then I guess it is ok. Im kind of in that situation myself right now. She loved my son very much, (she says), but ended up being such a user, didnt want to get a job, borrowed money all the time, very lazy, blamed everyone but herself for her problems, etc. She could be very nice, but I was soo glad when my son FINALLY realized how much he needed to let go of the relationship and move on. She recently contacted me, and then never came over to see me, like she said she wanted to do, ONce again, she always thinks of herself and noone else. Now she is w/. Someone else, doing God only knows what, my son tried to help her, but she just made excuses again. He finally ended it for good.
 
 mssingle  04 Nov 2009 21:58
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 I think that we are not any worse off for being nice. In your case, you wouldn't want to go out of your way then to spend time with her if she is not someone you would normally do things with.
by  Golfelda
 09 Nov 2009 02:56
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It depends on the age of your son. If he's over 18 and an independent man no longer living in your home then you can be friends with any adult women even if she used to date your son. But if your son is still young and under your roof then a) he's captive to watch or hear or be exposed to your friendship with his ex, and that's cruel, and b) I'm wondering what an adult woman wants with a friendship with a young girl anyway, hmm? Make friends with other adults.
 
 Grenache  29 Oct 2009 10:19
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 My son is over 18. The ex GF also was a substitue teacher at the daycare I own. We talk about the daycare kids and we go shopping once a month with a group of women and of various ages. It has nothing to do with my son or his current GF. I have friends of all ages and feel one doesn't have to limit themselves in friendships. I have always been kind and friendly to all of my sons' girlfriends and found things about each one to care about. I have made sure they feel welcome here in our home. You never know which one they will go back to or marry. I don't want to be one of those hateful mother in laws.
I also have been kind and friendly to all my kids friends and their parents over the years I spend most of my time whith children and realte well to them. Our home has always been the ones the kids like to hang out at because I never treated them as a bother or a burden. My sons have had the same best friends for year and they have spent so much time here that they are practically family. So I do indeed care for them as well. Many of us parents have become great friends, too.
by  Golfelda
 30 Oct 2009 15:27
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Only if you want to make you're son hate you.
 
 bdeuchler  28 Oct 2009 19:37
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 Really?
Does it matter who ended the relationship?
If she treated him horribly and cheated and ran around, yeah then I can see that.
If he decided he fancied another and broke up with her and has happily moved on, does it fill him with hate his mom is still nice to his ex's?
I know a lot of people who were nasty to their kids ex only to have to make nice again later when the kid started dating them again.
A girls shopping day that has nothing to do with him should not turn into an issue of hate.
by  Golfelda
 28 Oct 2009 19:48
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