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If You Feel Sad Or Depressed, Then That's Your Own Fault.
The only exception to this is if you have an imbalance in chemicals in your brain that cause you to be clinically depressed and need medication. However, if you feel bad because people are picking on you or something, then it's your own fault. You can't control what others say about you, but you do control how you react to it.
 bookworm3  21 Nov 2008 00:39
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Yes it is. Whisky is cheap and drugs are readily available.
 
 2free  22 Nov 2008 01:45
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10% of life is what happens to you. 90% is how you react to it. I think your talking about the 90%.
 
 Specter87  21 Nov 2008 22:17
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Its true. We are what we want to be. If we want to be sad because of something happening, then that's what we'll be. We control what we want to be. Some people might say we don't control our emotions, i don't think that's true. I think its easy to give in toemotions, but we control them. Its like getting a cut on your arm. You can chose to ignore the pain, or you can feel it to the max and experience the pain the fullest. I've noticed even in my own family how people create their own problems. Example = they'd call me for dinner, id say i'm studying, all of a sudden they angry, why? What is it to them? Do they NEED to get angry? No. People have become weak with this advancing world, when people die we mourn them as if the whole world has ended. Who cares if they died? There are so many religious ppl yet they cry their eyes out when someone dies, even when they know that in their religion people ' go to a better place', if their going to a better place, shouldnt you be happy and waiting to die yourself so you can be with them? You should be smiling. People have become weak and there is only a select few of us that have what humans use to have. Last example before i stop. AN OSTRICHE lays 6 eggs, and egg eater comes by and steals them while the ostriche is feeding. Ostriche comes back finds her babies gone, doesn't start crying, just goes on with life. Sure she'll look for them, but inthe end realize its inevitable, and its nature, therefore what happens happens, and to just go onwith your life. Humans on the other hand, lets say a woman has 6 babies, the babies are kidnapped and murdered, the woman has a breakdown and her life is over after that day. This is what society has done to people. Once again, people have become WEAK.
 
 chow0jason  21 Nov 2008 14:22
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 You have me up to a point. I do believe we control our emotional response to many things. However, we are hardwired to experience grief if someone close to us dies. Especially, if that someone is our child. An ostrich is not a human. Instinct takes over and the ostrich goes on because it has no choice and will lay more eggs. My children are not eggs that I could ever replace. I do believe in Heaven, but when I lost my father, I was very sad. I wasn't happy that he was in a better place because the human, selfish part of me wanted him here with me. On the flip side, we can choose how we react to most other things. I tell my children this all the time. If a kid in school says something they don't like. They have a choice. They can become angry and allow some other person to ruin their day, or they can refuse to give another person the power to ruin their day. It is healthier to choose to have a good day, or a good time doing something you enjoy despite some jerk doing/saying something that annoys you and allowing them to ruin the experience for you. If it is a daily barrage of bullying, we can choose to ignore it up to a point. When one is constantly harassed, by a group of bullies, one tends to begin to believe some of what is said on some level. That, I believe, is where situational depression for some may come into play. Not everyone is confident enough to blow off everything and go one with their life happily. Sad, but true. I tend to be more like you as far as the way I feel about life. I do not allow most situations to put me into a state of misery. When your family calls you for dinner and you are busy studying, it is their choice to become angry if you choose not to join them. It is, however, a normal human response for them to feel some sadness as they may miss you and want to spend some time with you, but they can make the best of the situation, enjoy dinner and share time with you when it is convenient for all of you. People do have emotions. We need to be sensitive to them. We do not have to bend over backwards to cater to them, but kindness and sensitivity are traits that will get you further in life than complaining that people are weak. Weakness is not the issue in the case of loss of a loved one, losing a home or a natural disaster causing an entire town to be wiped out. These are things that bring most everyone down. If they actually happened to you, I feel certain you would probably feel differently.

I am on the same side of the debate here, so don't misunderstand. I agree with some of what you say. I just feel you stated your argument in such a way that you came off as cold and unfeeling and not as strong and able to cope with difficult situations.
by  my2cents2u
 21 Nov 2008 17:20
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Bookworm3 is right on with this one. Aside from situational depression, which he/she missed. Yes, under certain circumstances, one can experience an episode of situational depression.
This can occur even if one is being bullied. If, on the other hand, one is taking to heart everything others say, I would not call the resulting sadness their fault, but I would not label it as clinical depression either. There is severity to be factored in. In teenage years, before self confidence is fully developed, hurtful things can be harmful and cause intense self doubt. This can trigger a depressive episode. Usually, the depression caused by something like this is transient and will abate without medication if the bullying stops and with the right parental or other adult intervention. In healthy people with good self esteem, someone calling them a name or telling them they are bad, is generally not something that can cause any type of depression. Perhaps a sadness due to the loss of a friend or someone you perceived as a friend may exist for a period. Clinical depression, however, is a serious and treatable mental illness. It is the source of much pain, both emotional and physical, loss of employment and puts people at the very real risk of suicidal ideation, intent and follow through. Medication can be a great help, but is not the end all be all to any illness. If a person wants help, they may have to try several meds before finding the one that helps their specific depressive symptoms. They may also suffer from other neurosis on the same axis or as a differential diagnosis. Those could require a different medication. Clinical depression and other mental illness is a chemical imbalance, much as diabetes or other illness that needs to be regulated by a chemical to keep our body in check. A physician is able to determine the best method of treatment for one suffering. Do not dismiss situational depression however. There are times that it serves as a spring board to a clinical depression if it lasts long enough to become chronic.
 
 my2cents2u  21 Nov 2008 05:37
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Depression is not totally one's fault. Yes, a person with very low self-esteem is prone to depression. So, take this opportunity to make this depressed person feel valued. A kind word goes a long way. An unkind word can destroy a person.

Remember, patience is a virtue, something many of us need to develop.
 
 menhim1967  21 Dec 2008 05:32
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A person's environment and behavior affects their brain as much as their brain affects their behavior. So don't draw a distinction b/w "medical" and "self-induced" depression or diseases or disorders.

Stress and trauma can hit anyone. Some people have better coping skills. But if a professional ball player tears a ligament, he needs to see a doctor for medical Tx (the equivalent of seeing a psychiatrist) and he also should work with a physical therapist (the equivalent of a psychologist). A counselor is more like a coach, who is there to help you improve your basic skills.

All patients need to realize they have to work on their own recovery, whether from a heart attack or panic attack disorder. You can't sit back and wait for a pill to fix you.
 
 Lynn  23 Nov 2008 03:14
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I agree with verum and SlyOne. There is a lot that is beyond our personal control.
 
 Grenache  21 Nov 2008 17:29
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 buddy, WHY? this is a debate site, state your side of the argument and PROVE it. so many ppl respond like you but there's no proof or reasons for your claims. WHY do you think that?
by  chow0jason
 21 Nov 2008 19:28
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Try saying that to someone who is suffering from an internal illness, or someone who recently lost a loved one, or has been in a recent accident and now can't walk, or someone suffering from starvation.

There are a large number of atrocities that can occur in one’s life that indisputably will end in depression.
 
 verum  21 Nov 2008 04:57
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 I think the person who posted the debate did allow for clinical depression and for those who are depressed for reasons such as you mentioned. I think they are speaking of allowing someone's attitude toward you or the way someone speaks to you causing a depression. I mentioned this to chow0jason, but it can be repeated. I tell my kids all the time that, if someone says something they don't like, they can choose to allow that person to ruin their day and cause them to be angry, sad or feel depressed, or they can look to the source, realize that the person who said it may be jealous, a jerk, having a bad day and then, go on with their day and choose to have a good day rather than allow someone to control how they feel about themselves on any given day. I spent a week at camp with a bunch of 11 year olds. Another school had some girls there that were spouting off rude comments to the girls that were in the cabin I was in charge of. I took my girls aside and told them that they had the chance to have a fun week, full of activities and time with friends. They could choose to ignore these girls who they did not even know, or they could allow these girls to ruin their time. My girls chose to have a fun time. I was so proud of them. They let go of their anger and frustration and rose above the negative things said by the other girls. In my opinion, the other girls lost. They got themselves all worked up, but over what? They allowed themselves to be angry and petty and I am guessing they did not have as much fun as my girls did.
by  my2cents2u
 21 Nov 2008 17:28
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We do not control our emotions. The most we can do is prevent our emotions from controlling us.
 
 SlyOne  21 Nov 2008 03:07
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I know first hand what it's like, and I would love to say that it's all upon me, but the people who are close to me who have made choices that affect my life in a negative way doesn't exactly make me feel like I can only live my life and not worry about other people's choices EVEN THOUGH it still affects everything about my life.
 
 imright20  21 Nov 2008 00:45
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