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Fifty Shades Of Grey Is A Horrible Movie.
I finally watched it, and would like to break down why it was so atrocious.
 Ballsalsa  06 Dec 2015 15:45
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PHaven't seen it, but what do you expect from "greyness." It is truly a boring view of life, especially the sexual part of living. (If that what the movie is about).
 charlee  08 Dec 2015 19:31
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Yeah, it was a horribly over-hyped movie based on a horribly over-hyped book. Not to sound like a pervy perv, but I've never understood 'soft-core' erotica. I mean, is this film or book going to actually get me horny? Or is it just meant to ever-so-slightly titillate my senses? Because I don't need a two-hour snooze-fest for that. Hell, I can watch PG-13 teen comedies from the '80's and get more aroused than most of the so-called 'highbrow' erotica that gets mass-produced.

But hey, I guess bored housewives in Alabama need something to get them off on a Friday night (and spend the rest of the weekend praying for forgiveness).
 pollywog  08 Dec 2015 17:33
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The majority of the film adaptions of books in the past decade have been lackluster in my opinion. It's obvious when something is being overly milked.
 Hizashi  07 Dec 2015 17:57
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 Oh, you can say that again! The grotesquely wrong casting alone ensures that. Tom Cruise is the least plausible actor to play 6'4" tall and not very good looking Jack Reacher, of the books. And who chose Kevin Spacey to play the large, red haired and clumsy hero in The Shipping News?
by  damselfly
 07 Dec 2015 19:16
It was a horrible book. I read about 6 pages.
 artemis  06 Dec 2015 17:04
 Wow really - I even made it through "Left Behind", which was complete trash.
by  Ballsalsa
 06 Dec 2015 18:05
1. Lack of nudity. It was hyped as a "Eyes Wide Shut" type of soft core erotica, and turned out more like "Bikini Sorority Car Wash". I saw more junk in "Clash of the Titans". Borderline PG-13.

2. Tame! I don't want to brag, but my real life sex life is more interesting than this "fantasy". Billions of dollars at his disposal, and he's using floggers and furry handcuffs from Spencers. No blood, no bruises, not even any welts. What!?

3. The feminist sell out ending. She agreed to be his slave, and starts crying about respect after getting a light 6-smack belt spanking. Give me a fking break. The whole movie was a horribly mysoginistic Cinderella story, with NO appeal to anyone with an iota of feminism. She had no problem with him "rescuing" her when she drunk calls him from a bar. I guess it's ok for a woman to have her spirit squashed, just not her ass. Clumsily contradictory.

4. The girl. Literally EVERY girl that worked for the guy was way hotter than her. You'd think a billionaire playboy would want a little more than her frumpy b-cups.

5. The guy. He was rich, good looking, and... Yeah I guess that's it. No personality whatsoever. You know what every person who never smiles has in common? They're interesting for about 10 minutes.

6. Dominant? I thought he was supposed to be a ruthless dom. He "doesn't make love, but fvcks, fvcks hard". Then he proceeds to gently make love to her with the tenderness of Prince Charming on estrogen. The movie was fake and made for fakes.

I know there's other reasons why this movie sucked balls (besides the lack of literal ball sucking), so please feel free to add.
 Ballsalsa  06 Dec 2015 15:45
 You don't recommend it, then?
by  damseIfIy
 06 Dec 2015 17:08
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