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Im_trumpet. You have got this right dear. |
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I've seen it hurt so many of my friends. It's just wrong. Don't stay together if you are kids know
you hate each other but don't get divorced just over one or two disagreements. |
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Yes i have divorced parents and it sucks i think it is wrong to put your kids through that. |
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I think that people should actually think before they get married.
If the grown-ups would take the time to get to know each other before they tie the knot, they
wouldn't need to get divorced.
See, i don't come from a broken home, but a lot of my friends do. Even though it's not my life, i
feel sorry for them.
Grown-ups should also sit down and talk about having a kid before they actually have one. If the
man shows signs of abuse, or is a heavy drinker, then they should get divorced instead of having
kids. Before having kids, they need to make a commitment to each other that they will both be
caretakers of the children, and that they will stay together and work problems out, because most of
the problems that grown-ups have that they get divorced over can be prevented.
Divorce is wrong when you don't even try. |
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MM92--
I am sorry about your broken home. I admire children who grow up in broken homes and survive and
are ongoing, like Katie92 and Untoldrose, who made their votes on the red side.
However, I agree with you, and study after study has demonstrated that children do better in
nonbroken homes, even if the parents fight all the time, are unhappy with each other, etc. Now,
obviously there are limits to behaviors of parents as you so well mentioned.
However, to a large degree, no matter how the parents feel about each other, children do better
(less drugs, less crime, more educated, etc). Study after study also support that it is parents
where there is one man and one woman and not other combinations. So, divorce,in general, appears
to be wrong and bad for the kids based on the evidence. |
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It's hard on everyone, especially the kids. I think people married to quickly and don't really know
the person they married. That leads to divorce. |
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Data, i agree with you and your right divorcing is wrong and stuff but if the parents start beating
up each other they should get divorced! |
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I totally agree with you, divorce is wrong. When you have children, you must sit and conversation
with them before getting divorced, because sometimes talking and sharing problems with spouse and
kids solves many problems just in few seconds, Family is the only element in this world, without
which a person cannot survive long. So, it’s really necessary to avoid divorce especially when you
have kids, in case of parent’s divorce children has to face many problems which leaves a great
impact on their whole lives. |
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 Data  27 Apr 2008 08:36
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A person should go into a marriage if its sure i myself watched my whole life my parents arguing and
having a divorce and my father is not very nice to my mum i think that relationships can go so wrong
that we have to divorce abuse cheating so many things happen and there's a stage when you need to
let go and run lol all the memories of my parents marriage has been fighting i cant remember once
wen my parents hugged or kissed but obviously I'm okay with that because my dad did get abusive
twice and is a bit controlling but Divorce isn't completely wrong |
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Divorce was absolutely right for me, and my right.
Best thing I've ever done. But that was my situation, and every person's story is different.
I'm sorry for how you feel, and I do understand. |
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Divorce isn’t the problem it’s idiots getting married with fantasies about social stature and
white picket fences and no idea about commitment and true partnership. Listen to the way people talk
about things. They always say ‘I just need to meet the right person.’ They never talk about
being the right person. That statement implies that there is someone out there who will just fix all
their problems and make them happy. This thought process invariably leads to people being pissed off
and resentful that this person didn’t live up to their expectations. There are plenty of perfectly
justifiable reasons for divorce and I’m not trying to say that all divorce come about the reasons
I have stated. However this seems to be a major reason that the divorce rate is skyrocketing. And
before you go after me for getting on a high horse I should mention that I did the exact same thing
the first time I got married and I suffered the consequences of my own stupidity. |
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Divorce isn't wrong.. Its difficult and upsetting.. But its not wrong. Would you rather grow up in
world war 3 so to speak with the arguments..the shouting and the bad atmosphere where its clear that
both your parents are terribly unhappy and they have to stay together because divorce is wrong? Or
live with either parent in a happy house where its peaceful and your parents are happier now?...
Divorce is just something that happens when things go tits up its not nice for anyone.... But i
don't think its wrong. |
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My parents divorced and I'm fine i see my dad from time to time and he helps me wit things and I'm
fine so it doesn't hurt that bad |
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Its a sad fact of life, people change,
some one you fall in love with, can change a decade later to someone you cant stand to touch you,
are we meant to bottle up our feelings because people think divorce is wrong
even if it was, people will still separate.
And that would constitute as adultery |
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I am in agreement. The Bible states there are only 3 reasons that divorce is accepted and those
are:1-adultery, 2-you are married to a non-believer and 3-you become a non believer. Of course,
molesting the children is a good reason too, as is abuse. But, that us before the Bible's time.
I grew up in a home without a father my whole life, well actually after I was 2, but who remembers
that age? My mother had good reason to divorce my father though, abuse. I am actually happy that I
didn't have to have him or his influence in my life. He has never changed as i have heard through
the grapevine. My ex step mom went through the same thing. My half brother sees my father as much as
i do. It is sad that people are that way and there is no changing them. But, I do believe that if
those reasons I listed above are the reason for divorce, then the child should be banned from seeing
the father or mother that are in the wrong. |
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I think that having parents who constantly argue, or a dad who mistreats a mom, is just as
damaging.
Don't go saying that I don't know what I'm talking about. I do. My dad cheated on my mom with some
rich skinny chick and then divorced her when I was seven. My mom spent most of her time for the next
two weeks or so crying. They needed to separate, though. My dad never paid any attention to either
me or my brother, and he had my mom do all the work for him while he watched sports and treated her
like trash. The one time we dragged him to a Halloween event with us, he refused to get dressed up.
He rarely came to my birthdays or even got me a present.
He, ironically enough, became more of a dad after he moved out. I still didn't like him. He started
giving me gift cards on my birthdays and on Christmases. In exchange he got to look like a good
parent in the court's eyes and was almost able to prevent my mom from moving nearby any family and
therefore support (we lived a thousand miles away, and she didn't have enough income to take care of
us or get someone watch us whenever she had to go on a business trip on her own)
I was actually happier because my dad moved out. I didn't even know his name until I heard it in
court! I could spell my mom's full name and her maiden name forwards and backwards, though. My mom
eventually began to get over him, and got a really nice boyfriend that would play with my brother
and I and take us trick or treating and everything else that our dad never did. I was finally able
to get a pet other than a cat, something my dad had always inexplicably forbidden. I was able to
move close to family and my only friend at the time, my cousin. She managed to introduce me to her
friends, and turn me from asocial to social.
If my parents had stayed together, I would've never come into to much contact with my cousin, and I
would've continued to withdraw. Even with the support of my cousin and her friends I faced major
depression going through middle school. My old home, where my dad had refused to move out of while
we lived with him, was a lot worse about discrimination and bullying than my new, and I had no
friends. My mom would've never really been happy, and I never would've gotten away from his insane
rules and been able to really turn into me.
Yes, divorce is often hurtful to the child. It hurt me in the short run and partially in the long
run. My anger issues, which I've always had problems with, got ten times worse after my dad left my
mom and hurt her so much. Not divorcing can be just as hurtful, though, if not more.
Others have pointed out that domestic violence, a drunkard or drug using parent, and other such
problems. All of these are reasons for divorce! Even something as minor as tension can be
devastating to the child! It can skew their perception of the world, making them think that hate's
normal.
Even though it does wound the child, they can get over it. The parents can find other girlfriends or
boyfriends or even spouses, who can provide just as much love as the other parent would've, if not
more.
Yes, people do need to talk about it more before marrying or divorcing. But if they're in a bad
relationship, they shouldn't prolong it over much. If they peacefully resolve it before it gets
violent, it'll have less of a negative impact on the child. But if they wait for it to escalate to
outright hatred and violence and come to blows, when and if they do separate it'll be a million
times worse. |
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I think it's a choice. I'm glad my parents divorced. I never would have had the IN-CRED-IBLE
opportunities I had growing up otherwise and they probably would have killed each other anyway. I
think that sometimes I felt carted around and a little unwanted, but it really was for the better
and I almost always knew it. |
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Unfortunate news about what you went through, but what's more wrong is a parent who is never there
although they reside there, sucking up vauble air,
or aren't coherent because they're on drugs all day, how about the ones that cheat in front of the
children, or disrespect the other parent in front of the children.... And on and on and on. |
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I disagree with this. There are many reasons why people should get divorced and domestic violence is
one of them. Whilst it may be upsetting for children who have to experience their parents going
through a divorce, it would be terribly unfair for the parents to remain married when there is
violence present. It is much better for it to end than continue, as this will have a bigger effect
on the children.
Another reason is that things change. There may be many reasons why a marriage may break down and
even if there are children, it would be incredibly unfair on the parents to remain in a marriage
where they are desperately unhappy. I personally would rather have my parents divorce than expect
them to stay in a marriage which is not working.
Just because people feel that they have made the right choice when they marry someone, doesn't mean
that things cannot change. People fall out of love, people have affairs and people split because
they have money problems etc. People should not continue something that they are unhappy in. Having
said that, I am truly sorry to hear about your experience, MM92. It is unfortunate that you had to
suffer because of a broken home and I think it is good that you have shared your experiences.
I personally have not experienced my parents going through divorce, but a couple of my relatives
have. It is a terrible time when children have to see their parents go through divorce, but given
time, things will settle, and as long as a suitable agreement is made where the children can spend
time with each parent, then things should be fine. Parents should certainly have time for their
children, regardless of whether or not they are married, because every child needs their parents. |
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Not totally. What if one of your parents beat the other one? Or cheated on the other one? |
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I think that if things aren't working you need to divorce why wait for someone to molest your kids
that's extremely wrong and disturbing. Divorce sucks but pretending everything is okay is much worse
and kids can definitely see that so it's pretty much like living a lie. |
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I can't help but disagree as well, if its to the point where you are considering divorce chances are
things have gotten past the point of having a "5 minute calm conversation" that is going to put all
the pieces back together. For one to say that if you have kids its necessary is in my opinion even
farther off base. When a couple stays together merely because they have children no-one including
the children is likely to be happy. Children are not nearly as oblivious as some would like to think
and can and will pick up on the emotions, and other little things. They could also grow up with the
belief that there parents problem is caused by them because they feel the need to stay together. I
personally come from divorced parents. I was 12 at the time and honestly it would have been a lot
easier on EVERYONE involved if it would have happened many many years sooner. If you are truly
unhappy kids or no kids its not fair to be forced to live your life that way. People grow and change
not always for the better and not always in the way direction. |
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I disagree with you on this one
my parents divorced when i was five and my dad hardly ever comes around
when you hear me talk about my dad i usually mean my step dad but anyways my real dad was an
abusive drunk .
That was something that i strongly disagree with and sitting down and talking wouldn't have helped
anything. |
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