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Yes. I don't think that the fear of commitment comes from unwillingness to man (or woman) up. Alot
of times it has to do with bad past experience. |
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There is a real phobia for everything. |
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I cannot deny the veracity of your debate statement. |
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I agree that commitment is a problem for some but that "manning up" isn't always the issue. I was
once engaged and my fiancee died 1 week before the wedding. For me it's about getting hurt that
deeply again I don't think I could take it again. |
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This is true. There are many people today who are totally afraid to make a commitment to anything.
This is not just in relationships, but also in terms of children, careers, education, religion or
anything else. When it all boils down, the root of the fear is really money. People fear that they
will not have enough money to pay for things, so they refuse to make any type of commitment.
However, these people need to get over it and just commit. There are something in life that require
commitment and it really cannot be avoid, unless you want to be a lonely, lifeless person. |
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This was actually scientifically proven by several renowned researchers including Dr. Robert
Cialdini who stated that this was one of the 6 weapons of influence.
One wishes to stay committed as they want to appear consistent.
Also, in the case of love, people fear hurting another person or starting commotion and troubles by
breaking up. |
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I agree because i have been dating but not taking anything seriously just because i feel like I'm
not ready to have such a big responsibility such as a child [ of my own ] or even to be a house wife
no no I'm more of a go out and enjoy your life type of person and i plan on keeping it that way for
as long as i can .
But i don't put aside that i do realize that one day i will get married and have kids. But just not
now. |
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It's pretty hard to challenge the idea of 'manning up', i do believe in the power of manning up but
when you get married you should already be manned up... The problem with commitment is that its
rarely commitment... I don't think people are afraid of commitment as much as they're afraid of
making mistakes... You can man up by telling your fiancee you aren't going to get married and it is
over, or you can man up by swallowing your pride and telling your wife that she's right and your
sorry for arguing with her about something petty... But you can't just look at fearing commitment as
some sort of short coming, it is trying to fully invest yourself in the commitment rather than just
shrugging at the notion like some sort of trifle and looking at any given thing your being told to
do as needing to man up... "woman up" is an interesting concept :) i like that... |
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I agree there's many people out their afraid of getting hurt and stuff. |
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Perhaps their too emotional, and therefore worry too much about a lot of things, or too logical and
therefore worry about too many variables. |
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I think a little fear is a perfectly normal response to a life changing decision. I think a far
bigger problem is people not considering whether or not they can fulfill the obligations of a
commitment before they find themselves married with three kids. |
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08 May 2008 16:00
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