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CHILDREN ARE THE LOSERS WHEN Divorced Mothers Brainwash Their Children To Hate Their Father And Even Grandparents.
I hope someone can explain in their debate why any parent, especially the one with primary custody, preaches and teaches over and over that the father and even grandparents, are horrible "hitlers" that do not deserve respect or love by the children. The children are cheated of much love and their own self-respect. Why? Why?
 best4write  06 Feb 2008 04:12
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All parties lose in divorce. I think of divorce as a forced division.
Div(-ision)(f-)orce. The child is forcibly divided, in a way. Split between two.
 
 Stranger  01 Oct 2008 20:54
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This is a reality that I myself had to endure. Without going into specifics about my own issue, I can tell you that it is extremely selfish of a parent to not take the child's emotions into consideration while they bash the other verbally. I understand that this issue is a complex one and that there are many variables to consider; however, in keeping within the context of this post...I agree that children do lose. It is shameful that children get caught in the crossfire!
 
 athling  01 Oct 2008 20:52
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Children are the losers when that happens, not simple losers.
But I agree, this has happened to several of my friends.
It is a real shame because the father loses out most of the time as well.
 
 ScottyRAWR  25 Aug 2008 16:20
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When parents degrade the other parent or grandparents, they are doing nothing but hurting their children. I think they are trying to get the upperhand when they put down others. They have low self-esteem and need for their child to believe that they are the best. Putting others down makes them seem that way to only them though. Children get stuck in the middle and it really does make everything a lot more difficult than it needs to be. There is so much hurt in a divorce as is, without adding in parents demeaning the other parent.
 
 curious  29 Apr 2008 02:35
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We often notice that divorced mothers instigate their children against their father and even grandparents and consequently, they start disrespecting them. These mothers fail to understand what great harm they are causing to their own children. They should realize that their own personal problems should not hamper the natural and healthy growth of their wards. These children are the ones who suffer when they are intentionally deprived of their father’s company which may have been truly beneficial for them. They are actually cheated of their individual and personal thoughts and outlook, they could have developed otherwise. The unforeseen repercussions of the negative feelings, thus nurtured within the children, may even turn out to be quite fatal. If a child is convinced that his/her father and grandparents are solely responsible for the divorce, they may become arrogant and even try to avenge their mothers’ apparent loss and misery.
 
 sudipa  17 Apr 2008 15:15
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Children are the losers when parents get divorced period, no matter what kind of idiots the parents choose to be thereafter.
 
 Cephus  06 Feb 2008 09:22
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This is a sad reality that most women poison their child against the father and grand parents after the divorce. In my understanding the reason for this could be the fear of losing the child. Unless she constantly reminds the child of how evil the father and grand parents are there is a chance the child would want to go back to them.
We have to understand the psyche of a woman who has been divorced and is living alone. Her child is probably the only valued possession she has left. It is her insecurity and possessiveness of the child that compels her to engage in such an act. I am not saying what she does is right or wrong as the debate is not about that but such behaviors exist in the society and I tried to explain why.
 
 Twilight  06 Feb 2008 07:34
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 We all know it's wrong for any parent to emotionally abuse a child in such a way. Research shows that verbal and emotional abuse cause more lifelong trauma than generally believed. Thanks for your response.
by  best4write
 08 Feb 2008 23:38
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No. Mothers do the very best they can. It is irrational to hate someone who has given so much and tried so hard.

Any father or grandparent who has abused, does not deserve the time of day.
 
 Scorpion  18 Jul 2008 00:40
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 So the mother is always the better parent? Why?
by  Sanareth
 25 Aug 2008 13:40
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"CHILDREN ARE THE LOSERS WHEN Divorced Mothers Brainwash Their Children To Hate Their Father And Even Grandparents."

True, but that doesn't happen very often.
 
 Snipex  12 Apr 2008 20:17
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I'm going to say, no its not true in some circumstances, I can prove this because my parents didn't marry and split up just after i was born and my mother did the complete opposite actually!! Although I did not see my father often (mostly due to the fact that he was an alcoholic) she still made sure I saw the grandparents, I still see them to this day! I had only just met my real father just over a year ago as he had been in therapy for 4 years and is still going strong today, she didn't tell me no to seeing him, supported me, nor did she ever once bad mouth him to me or his parents, they are all loving people and I still see them all, my mother even comes up with me to see them in the summer to stay for the week, sometimes two weeks and has always let me see them, I may just be one person but I can certainly say that I am someone who has never been brainwashed into hating their biological father, there may be those out there who have and I can see some logic to this, but I am not the loser in this at all. I'd been through a lot in my childhood after my parents did split, but never once had I been brainwashed into hating him, nor my grandparents.
 
 amyashuu  21 Feb 2008 21:36
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There are genuinely bad people in the world. Sometimes a woman can fall in love with a man without understanding his true character. Later, she realises the man has a vicious streak. Perhaps the man confides in her in a way he didn't before they were married. He admits he used to be a serial killer but now says he has reformed.

In a moral panic, the woman terminates the relationship. Their children, though, can't possibly grasp the complexities of what has just happened. They still feel an instinctive affection for their father. So it is the mother's duty to warn the child appropriately to be on guard against the father's evil influence.

You could call it brainwashing, but you could call it brainwashing when parents teach their children to look carefully before they cross the road. The fact is there are dangers in the world, dangers children know little or nothing about. It is the parent's duty to bring them to the child's attention.
 
 Hidell  06 Feb 2008 21:20
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 good debate response, but I now challenge you to consider the issue when the father and grandparents are the good people and the mother is the bad one. Can you meet the challenge? A good debater can. Thanks for responding.
by  best4write
 08 Feb 2008 23:36
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