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All parties lose in divorce. I think of divorce as a forced division.
Div(-ision)(f-)orce. The child is forcibly divided, in a way. Split between two. |
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This is a reality that I myself had to endure. Without going into specifics about my own issue, I
can tell you that it is extremely selfish of a parent to not take the child's emotions into
consideration while they bash the other verbally. I understand that this issue is a complex one and
that there are many variables to consider; however, in keeping within the context of this post...I
agree that children do lose. It is shameful that children get caught in the crossfire! |
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Children are the losers when that happens, not simple losers.
But I agree, this has happened to several of my friends.
It is a real shame because the father loses out most of the time as well. |
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When parents degrade the other parent or grandparents, they are doing nothing but hurting their
children. I think they are trying to get the upperhand when they put down others. They have low
self-esteem and need for their child to believe that they are the best. Putting others down makes
them seem that way to only them though. Children get stuck in the middle and it really does make
everything a lot more difficult than it needs to be. There is so much hurt in a divorce as is,
without adding in parents demeaning the other parent. |
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We often notice that divorced mothers instigate their children against their father and even
grandparents and consequently, they start disrespecting them. These mothers fail to understand what
great harm they are causing to their own children. They should realize that their own personal
problems should not hamper the natural and healthy growth of their wards. These children are the
ones who suffer when they are intentionally deprived of their father’s company which may have been
truly beneficial for them. They are actually cheated of their individual and personal thoughts and
outlook, they could have developed otherwise. The unforeseen repercussions of the negative feelings,
thus nurtured within the children, may even turn out to be quite fatal. If a child is convinced that
his/her father and grandparents are solely responsible for the divorce, they may become arrogant and
even try to avenge their mothers’ apparent loss and misery. |
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Children are the losers when parents get divorced period, no matter what kind of idiots the parents
choose to be thereafter. |
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This is a sad reality that most women poison their child against the father and grand parents after
the divorce. In my understanding the reason for this could be the fear of losing the child. Unless
she constantly reminds the child of how evil the father and grand parents are there is a chance the
child would want to go back to them.
We have to understand the psyche of a woman who has been divorced and is living alone. Her child is
probably the only valued possession she has left. It is her insecurity and possessiveness of the
child that compels her to engage in such an act. I am not saying what she does is right or wrong as
the debate is not about that but such behaviors exist in the society and I tried to explain why. |
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No. Mothers do the very best they can. It is irrational to hate someone who has given so much and
tried so hard.
Any father or grandparent who has abused, does not deserve the time of day. |
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"CHILDREN ARE THE LOSERS WHEN Divorced Mothers Brainwash Their Children To Hate Their Father And
Even Grandparents."
True, but that doesn't happen very often. |
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I'm going to say, no its not true in some circumstances, I can prove this because my parents didn't
marry and split up just after i was born and my mother did the complete opposite actually!! Although
I did not see my father often (mostly due to the fact that he was an alcoholic) she still made sure
I saw the grandparents, I still see them to this day! I had only just met my real father just over a
year ago as he had been in therapy for 4 years and is still going strong today, she didn't tell me
no to seeing him, supported me, nor did she ever once bad mouth him to me or his parents, they are
all loving people and I still see them all, my mother even comes up with me to see them in the
summer to stay for the week, sometimes two weeks and has always let me see them, I may just be one
person but I can certainly say that I am someone who has never been brainwashed into hating their
biological father, there may be those out there who have and I can see some logic to this, but I am
not the loser in this at all. I'd been through a lot in my childhood after my parents did split, but
never once had I been brainwashed into hating him, nor my grandparents. |
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There are genuinely bad people in the world. Sometimes a woman can fall in love with a man without
understanding his true character. Later, she realises the man has a vicious streak. Perhaps the man
confides in her in a way he didn't before they were married. He admits he used to be a serial killer
but now says he has reformed.
In a moral panic, the woman terminates the relationship. Their children, though, can't possibly
grasp the complexities of what has just happened. They still feel an instinctive affection for their
father. So it is the mother's duty to warn the child appropriately to be on guard against the
father's evil influence.
You could call it brainwashing, but you could call it brainwashing when parents teach their children
to look carefully before they cross the road. The fact is there are dangers in the world, dangers
children know little or nothing about. It is the parent's duty to bring them to the child's
attention. |
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06 Feb 2008 04:12
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