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I do not agree with arranged marriages. In the case of R v Ahluwalia, the wife was beaten and raped
and cheated on by her husband who she had an arranged marriage with for many years, and couldn't
divorce him because her own family would take her children from her and his would threaten to kill
her! So this resulted in her murdering him, and he very well deserved it. But that is besides the
point. My view is, although they have a high success rate, this is mostly because they fear getting
divorced. And people should be allowed to make their own choice to whom they marry, and no one
should be able to do anything about it. People should be free to love whomever they wish or will.
Without fear. |
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They have a pretty good success rate. I Think it should be ultimately up to the couple if they want
to go ahead. But it can't be a case of going back to the motherland and choosing someone on the
spot.
If it works out it could be a match made in heaven...;-) |
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One should be free to LOVE whomever they Love.
Period.
Free-will only.
Arranged Marriage is a type of rape: It is not a man of her choosing! |
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Yes it is person right to marry with that person who love him and can understand the feelings also. |
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You should be able to choose. You SHOULD marry when you have found the perfect person that you love,
respect, trust and want to be with forever |
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Yes they are basically even the ones that say they have a choice really don't and there aren't many
have the choice aseptically in countries that are Not America or Britain |
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Arranged marriages are far less likely to be happy ones than marriages that are supposed to be for
love. You should be able to choose. |
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I think they should be able to choose who they want to be with. |
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Choose who you want to be with |
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My friend Dhiraj was a native of India and he said that he great grandfather who was in an arranged
marriage thought that is was wrong.
Times have changed and even people who had culture think one that way are becoming aware that it
isn't right |
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While I agree that arranged marriages are barbarous and appalling, I'm not convinced that further
legislation is needed to deal with the problem. Surely if a British citizen is being forced into an
arranged marriage, even if the ceremony is being held abroad, there would still have to be a
violation of existing British law at some point. For example, why does the person for whom the
marriage is being arranged get on the plane? Is force being used against them? Why does the victim
not just leave her family? Is she being held against her will? These are already crimes, so there is
no need to introduce new laws. |
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The person should be free to choose |
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Yes. Everyone should be free to choose who they want to spend the rest of their life with. How
horrible it would be if someone was forced to marry someone that they did not choose and did not
love. When someone chooses a partner, they need to choose someone who will make them happy and
someone who they can love and take care of for a life time. I know the divorce rate is high
everywhere, but people do make mistakes. We should be free to make these mistakes. It is through
mistakes that we learn the most valuable lessons. No one should be allowed to choose another persons
spouse. |
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I do believe that arranged marriages are contrary to human rights if one or both of the parties
doesn't want that marriage.
Here we pride ourselves on the right to choose our own marriage partner. Arranged marriages did take
place here especially for political, economic and social reasons. Many couples endured years of
misery with a partner they didn't and couldn't love or even feel affection for.
For women ,especially, the thought of having to have children with a man they couldn't be attracted
to must be terrible and very distressing.
There is no place in our society for the extreme actions, including murder, which lead families to
kill their own children who are frightened of arranged marriages. I believe that no-one should
arrange their child's life to this point or send them abroad to marry anyone they have never met. I
think that parents can suggest marriage partners. If children are willing to meet and consider the
partner their parents have suggested then there is some freedom and choice here.
I think there should be high penalties for making a child suffer because of the fear of arranged
marriages and anyone found to be putting undue pressure on a child should be subject to prosecution
under UK law. |
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I am all for free choice and would not want an arranged marriage myself. But if that is the way
someone wants to do it then they should be allowed to. Unless the couple is under-age...then it
would not be right because they are not consenting adults. |
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Just a query, whats the divorce rate in a 'free' country like the UK in comparison to a 'fprced
marriage' country like India? |
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Arranged marriages are still going on in the U.S. (and presumably Britain). A friend’s parents’
marriage was arranged when they were interred in a WWII camp for Japanese-born Americans. And the
moms of many Silicon Valley Indian and Pakistani men find “suitable” brides for their sons,
rather than risk them marrying white Americans.
Yes, the idea of an arranged marriage is repugnant to us now. But, remember, the idea of marrying
for love, and not convenience, is very, very new to our culture. People married for very different
reasons, valuing the health of the family over their own hearts.
Historically, historically, they had an important function. Royalty has always arranged marriages
for political, territorial, and wealth alliances. Immigrant cultures that needed to build up their
population and influence quickly imported brides to the U.S.
We had strict immigration quotas for Asian nationals that precluded women, specifically to prevent
population build-up. |
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The fact is, you cannot generalize it like that. In America and the UK it seems unbelievable and
unrealistic. However in a different culture you have to put aside your preconceived notions about
love and listen to their argument.
I once was talking to someone that i met who was from India and talking to her about arranged
marriages. She seemed surprised that i thought arranged marriages were taking away her rights of
finding true love. To her, she thought OUR way was ridiculous. She said, "Americans run around for
years searching for the right guy, often not even finding him and winding up alone. They often don't
get to focus on themselves because they are too busy trying to chase down men. With arranged
marriages, i get to spend years living for myself, learning what i want to learn, practicing jobs i
want to practice, and i leave who i marry up to the people that i trust the most in the world--my
parents. They have so much experience and they want what's best for me. I'm more than happy to let
them make that decision for me and i can't understand why people wouldn't agree."
To her, the American lifestyle of dating and breakups and relationships seemed foolish. To us,
letting parents make decisions on who they marry even if they may be "experienced" seems ridiculous.
Its all a matter of where they are. She did not feel like she was losing any rights at all however.
She WANTED this.
In the case of the UK murder, I do feel a lot of sympathy for the girl. I think if someone is
against arranged marriage, they definitely shouldn't have to get one. But i do not think it takes
away human rights to have one. |
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Forcing an arranged marriage is out of question but if parents are suggesting a partner they think
you could spend the rest of your life with there is no harm in considering such an option. The
increasing divorce rates and the rate of unsuccessful love marriages have proven that a lot of us
are not capable of making the right choice when given the freedom.
There are people who are not very social and have never been in a relationship and if it wasn’t
for arranged marriages these people would probably never find a life partner for themselves.
Confusion in making one choice is also a common problem among women these days who are then helped
by their parents. Helped and not forced.
However, if someone is forced to give in to the idea of an arranged marriage there should be a law
to check such usurpation of rights and freedom. |
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Nowadays everything is changing in a natural way. Every stereotype social procedures are also
changing. Now people are getting rid of certain notions and superstitions. It was a time when there
used to be only arranged marriages but now the picture has changed and people are tending to love
marriages and even live-in relationships. It is just a mere thought which some people relate to and
find a certain comfort zone that arranged marriages are no longer the type that they would like to
stick to. Thus many opt for the other options. But it is nowhere harmful and there remains no
connection with social rights. It is a very personal issue and not at all a social one. It would
have caused much destruction in life, had it been such an obstacle to human rights. It is just a
matter of thought that somebody still persists. |
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11 Jan 2008 15:46
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